1) Cowin' 'eck! It's only half-eleven and the car park(s) are almost full. We've never seen this many folk at the Dogs Trust before. This field is usually 'Out Of Bounds' when we do our dog walking. Some people are making dark mutterings about the World Cup keeping people away. Goodness knows how busy it is usually then. Now, where's the entrance? 
2) Yay! It's Rosie, with her new owner. We've walked her in the past so she's our 'Best Bitch' favourite. Must win. Definitely.
3) Rosie's not even in the Top Six! It's an outrage but we are determined to have a good time despite this early setback.
4) There's some hard-core judging going on. Tension fills the air. Money and favours are being exchanged. Oh no, hold on a minute, that's Crufts (oooh, very controversial: slightly camp Doggy Affairs Ed.).
5) 'I've appeared in Doc Martin, me'. Forgotten the name of this dog. It was called one thing whilst waiting to be re-homed and is called something else now it is a famous TV Star.
Anyway, it is now 2:00pm and time to join the queue to get out of the car park, drive home, and put ourselves through the hell which is an Eng-er-land game.
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