1) Word has got 'round that Vicky has some 'stale as olde Nick' granary loaf on offer.
2) An unseemly scrum quickly develops. Ducks of all ages and sexes (we are not kidded by the males having lost their mating plumage) throw decorum to the wind and gobble it all up in minutes. Swans steadfastly refuse to drop their standards (quite right).
1) We are still very tired after our looooong day at Silverstone but, in a spirit of exploration and curiosity, we still decide to take the short drive to investigate this festival with a view to attend next year. Most of the activities took place on Friday and Saturday and so Sunday is free and gives everyone a chance to wind down after a hedonistic weekend of beer, food, and music.
2) What manner of lunacy compels festival goers to spend a weekend in these conditions? They must be young, that's all we are saying.
3) Now this is what we call a tent. You could get a whole family in that one. And their pet dogs and cats. They're probably all in there now. Sleeping off a collective stonking hangover. That sort of thing.
4) Yay! There's a four hour Lawn Mower Endurance Race as well as all the music and stuff. Things are looking up.
5) Of course, it doesn't take us long to find the beer and food tent. Now then, the last thing we need to do is attract the attention of the Food Police. Not after yesterday's shenanigans. So we choose a nice chicken stir fry. Nee-nah, nee-nah! Oh b*gg*r!
6) By the time the Happy Red Tractors take the stage most folk have gone home. We'll give 'em a listen for a bit, eh?
7) Three Happy Red Tractors playing their folky-bluegrassy mix of folky-bluegrassy stuff. Some of the audience still have the energy to dance. But not many. Staffie showing it's appreciation by piddling up the speakers, sadly, just out of shot.
8) Just time to watch a bit more lawn mower racing before heading off home. Will we buy tickets for next year? Depends who's on and whether WSBK is at Silverstone again. It might be at Brands or Donington, maybe. We shall see.
1) We've only been in the paddock for five minutes and Howard has already nailed his colours to the mast. He's read MCN and they've convinced him Max Biaggi is gonna win on the Aprilia. It's a fast circuit and he's got a fast 'bike but there's more to it than that. Has Howard made a terrible mistake? We urge caution, but he's not for turning.
2) Both James Toseland and Vicky have got their pre-Final Qualifying Session faces on. There's tension in the air. It's palpable. You can cut it with a knife. Gulp.
3) Bradley Smith does well to smile through the inane interrogations of some olde chap re 'whatcha gonna ride next season' whilst his 'younger brother' wanders past. Bradley's going to go into Moto2, hopefully. 'That's the plan', he says. You read it here first folks (unless you've already read it in MCN, that is)! David helpfully tells him that he's getting too tall for the 125's now. Hence Bradley's gritted teeth.
4) I'm not Bradley's younger brother, I'm Randy Mamola's son! Who's son? Randy Mamola's. You haven't got an American accent. No, It's a mixture of both. Are you a rider? Yeah, I ride in the Britsh 125 class in the same team as Niall MacKenzies son and I'll be at the next round at Brands Hatch. We're not sure we believe him but we get a photo with him in any case. We vow to google him when we get home. Sure enough it is Dakota Mamola who's 15 years old and has already won races in Spain and now he's got our brave lads in his sights. They might as well give up now.
5) Still recovering from a close encounter with Randy Mamola's son we stumble across this fella putting the finishing touches to Shane Byrne's Shoei helmet (more tea Vicar?). Vicky spots the 'tarty umbrella girl' on the back of the lid and accuses the designer of basing it on Jody Marsh. Howard says, well he did go out with her. David, prudently, is saying nothing.
6) Fastest in Final Qualifying, Cal Crutchlow goes for it at Copse Corner on his Yamaha. But can he repeat the trick in Superpole? Oooh, dunno.
7) Having learnt from our Moto GP experience we've pre-booked our Pit Lane Walk tickets. We're not quite sure what to expect but we are hopeful of seeing somebody we've heard of. Anyone seen Troy? Nope. Hmmm, not a great start.
8) Aha! This is more like it. Blokes in team apparel loitering with intent around a works Ducati. And there's a plastic funnel-thingy in the petrol filler. Fascinating.
9) Now then, who's this? Where's me programme? Ah yes, it's Sylvain Guintoli, Leon Haslam's Suzuki team mate. Knew that (oh yes).
10) BMW's Ruben Xaus - this is more like it. Makes up a bit for Troy Corser hiding. A retired Neil Hodgson, quivering with fear at the prospect that 'Our Roobs' might still be capable of knocking him off at any second, just out of shot.
11) Young riders keep on getting younger and younger shock Pt 2964. This is Gino Rea (as it says on his T shirt). No he's not related to either Jonathan (or Alex - one for all you Wolves fans) and is from Surrey. He rides a Honda in the Supersport class and that's all we know. Didn't stop us getting a signed poster. In fact, we get several posters between us. Dunno what we're gonna do with 'em. Haven't got enough frames for stuff as it is. All-in-all we must admit we enjoyed the Pit Walk.
12) All eyes are on Cal Crutchlow as he enters the pit garage and the start of Superpole which he duly won. Ah yes, says Howard, all well and good. He's set pole before at previous rounds but he's never won a race yet. My money's still on Biaggi. Howard just won't be told.
13) With Superpole over it's time to investigate the scran vendors behind the Pit Straight grandstand. We choose the Thai option. Note hugemongous spring roll to share between us. Howard's getting twitchy and warns of approaching Food Police sirens. They'd have a field day here alright.
14) Back in the grandstand now to watch the last half of the Supersport 600 Final Qualifying. This is Eugene Laverty on his Honda crossing the line to set pole position.
15) Now we've moved around to Luffield to watch the Superstock Final Qualifying. You can always spot a goodun, can't you? It's the way they push things to 100%, 100% of the time. They lean over a bit further, place their body weight further forward, that sort of thing. Consequently, it's no surprise that number 86, Ayrton Badovani, sets the best time on his BMW and will be on pole. Number 10, A. Boscoscuro on his Honda, finishes up 16th quickest.
16) An actual race! This is the European Superstock 600 round. It was a great contest. Which was a good job as there was only 16 riders. Seems that the recession is not only hitting MotoGP. The race was won by Luke Mossey (no not Rossi, David, you deaf git) on his Yamaha but not before he had to overcome a determined Florian Marino and his Honda. He only took the lead on the second from last corner and held on by just a few hundreds. Good stuff. 
17) The new pits complex continues to grow. It's getting late now. Nearly 6:30 and we've been here for nine hours. Not many folk remain. But we stay to watch the British Superstock riders for a few laps at Abbey. Well, it's the least we can do given they have had to wait since 9:30am yesterday to get back out on track again (as one of them told us at great length earlier). The lot of the 'support rider' has been forever thus we told him. But I don't think he was all that convinced.
18) The National Superstockers enjoy the new complex of curves linking Abbey and the Wellington Straight. It's time to go home now. We are cream-crackered. Not as young as we were, y'know. Still, should be home for half-eight. There's a music/beer festival on near Shelsey Walsh tomorrow. Might go if we feel up to it. Then again, might not.
1) We've come to Birmingham today to actually venture inside an Art Gallery (gulp) and have a look around the Steve McCurry exhibition. Very good it is too and we decide that the 'eyes have it'. Thus inspired, we set off around the city centre and take even more photos than usual to put on this blog and clog up the Internet. Mr McCurry would be proud.
2) Vicky's eye is drawn to this mosaic detailing on the City Of Birmingham Art School building which used to be the Ear Eye and Nose Hospital.
3) Architectural juxtaposition, typical of modern Birmingham. From left to right: Art School (see above), modern office block, and the Art Gallery.
4) We love to play the 'which one would we own' game every time we spot a precious motorcycle
5) Two together? And they both work? In the age of the mobile 'phone we can't help wonder who uses them. People who can't get a signal, maybe?
6) Time for some scran in Hudson's Coffee House. Food Police 'not hap' as cream teas and cheesy bacon sarnies are purchased. Nice place and it has got real bonafide waiters and waitresses. How posh.
7) Today's musical entertainment in Victoria Square is provided by the Hare Krishna people. That's all we're saying. Said too much already.
8) The 'entertainment' in Chamberlain Square, by way of a contrast, is provided by two big cranes lifting an iron girder-thingy and dropping it down again. Dunno for what purpose. Wasn't clear. Perhaps that was what made it all so interesting to so many passers by? Well, it was raining a bit.
9) Whilst the shower passes over we nip into the Symphony Hall to have a gawp at the auditorium. It's not exactly 'Rock City' is it?We've seen Van Morrison here (Vicky fell asleep), Ben Elton, and The Christians over the years. Possibly others, but we can't recall now.
10) The chap who designed this was also responsible for 'The Gherkin'. This is 'The Cube' and is supposed to look a bit like a Jewellery Box with some of its compartments open. Hmmmmm. We think Lunnon got the best deal (but only just).
11) We're now inside The Mail Box and Vicky's gone off to browse around Harvey Nics before we head back to the car park and the drive home.
12) Back home and all the fruits of the forest (recently purchased from Waitrose) are heaped in a bread envelope. Now all Vicky has to do is add several pounds of suger (well, it is one of Delia's) and we'll have enough Summer Pudding for the entire week.
13) The finished Puddin' (one of 'em). Could be the cause of a lot of, ahem, bathroom activity wouldn't you say? Food Police very hap tho' which is, we are sure you'll agree, the main thing.
2) The support band is the Brand New Heavies. We have one of their CD's which should be a help but we only recognise a couple of their tracks. They have been going for a lot longer than we realised so they do have a lot of stuff to choose from. Vicky's verdict: 2/5 (bit harsh). David's verdict: 3/5.
3) EW&F come on and there is a problem with the sound. A bit quiet and muddy. The BNH's had a clear crisp sound. It takes about five tracks for the sound people to sort it out and then things get going. We have a good view but we are a bit too far from the stage for our compact to get a reasonable shot. Only one thing for it: we need to dispatch someone innocent-looking and cunning down to the front, past several security guards, to get a better view. Well volunteered, Vic!
4) Vicky gets a shot of Verdine White slappin' his bass, Ralph Johnson dancing about a bit, and Philip Bailey's right arm just before a security bloke tells her to get back to her seat. Evidently, you can dance in the aisles but not take photos. Hmmm?
5) The view from our seats. Vicky's verdict: 4/5 (they were the Dream Theater of funk-soul for a bit in the middle there). David's verdict: 4/5 (lost one point for the awful mix at the start). All-in-all a very entertaining and funkadaelic night, and that Philip Bailey can't half sing.
1) The spirit of Bazza is alive and well. Which is a good thing, we think. 
2) All eyes on Heat Four.
3) Bored with the processional racing in Moto GP? Go to yer nearest grass track and wait for the 1000cc sidecar boys (and girls) to come out to play. It was like this for all four laps.
4) Shaun Harvey knows there's something wrong with the handling of his 500cc Sidecar but can't quite figure out what. It was only when he got back to the paddock that he realised he'd left the top half of his passenger on the start line.
5) There's always one, isn't there? Miles faster than everyone else. Showing off over the bumps etc. This time it was Jamie Rodgers on his 500cc JHR Jawa.
6) Vicky is under intense pressure to return to our comfy seats with two drinks and a bacon sarnie before the Food Police can catch her. Did she make it?
7) Nah mate. Ferget it. It's b*gg*r*d! Harland Cook hears the verdict all competitors dread.
8) I say, don't we know you from our walks around Worcester Racecourse? Well, yes we do, and he's a grass track fan. Worra dawg.
9) There's a lot of pirouetting at a grass track meeting. What with riders (Stephen Brook/350cc Jawa) spinning around their own rear wheel and landing on their *rs*. And marshals spinning on their heels to wave a flag (or two).
10) Our obligatory photo of Gerald Short. He is very very olde. Yet remains wonderfully capable of showing riders half his age (and younger) the quick way 'round a grass track. Long may he continue to do so.