BTCC, Silverstone, Saturday, 2014.

We have arrived at the leisurely hour of 11:45 and so have ample time for a cuppa tea at Luffield before the Touring Cars take to the track for their first practice session.

But look at the weather! That Carol-swine said it would be no hotter than 17 degrees and, as any veteran of flat airfield circuits the world over would know, that translates into cold and…ahem….breezy. But Carol has lied again and it's already 20-odd degrees with hardly a breath of wind. We wouldn't mind but we've brought layers and now we've gotta lug everything around all cowin' day.

Howard finds some shade on the bonnet-thingy of a London double-decker now converted into a mobile hostelry. It's all we can do to drag him away.

We still have time to take a look around some of the stalls in the Trade Area and have an interesting chat with some chaps from the Army who are there in a PR-type capacity. 

Cowin' arty-types. What are we gonna do with 'em all? Spraying stuff with their aerosol paints and then trying to flog it. Outrageous. 

12:40-ish: We are now on the inside of Brooklands and the Touring Cars are on track. 

Normally, we can't abide spokes in an 'action' shot (this is a speed sport, after all) but when a car locks up on the brakes we guess it's acceptable. 

It's borderline, tho'.

12:55-ish and we are now on the banking between Copse and Maggotts. 

There's no point in that pillock looking at the display, he hasn't got his reading glasses on. Blige.

Another thing that we are fascinated by: trailers that become hostility units.

It's all in the hydraulics, we reckon.

The latest Fittipaldi to come over here from Brazil to drive our cars and nick our wimmin'.

This is F Renault racer Pietro.

Lea Wood's car……….

…..and Lea Wood's helmet.

2:30-ish. Having had lunch and a good look 'round The Paddock, we have strolled under the tunnel at Copse and are now making our way to The National Pits Straight Grandstand.

As we do so, Dave Patterson trundles by in his Ginetta GT4. 

3:15-ish: we are now settled in the National Pit Straight Grandstand having watched the Ginetta Junior qualifying (as manic as you would expect) and the Formula Ford cars are almost ready for their first race of the weekend.

But never mind all that rubbish! Look at the weather! Feel the warmth! Must be in the mid-twenties.

We are sat in one of the Silverstone Grandstands, normally notorious wind-tunnel freezers at best, and we are soaking up the rays in just one layer. It's unprecedented.

It's a new world record!

Jade Kruger crosses the finish line to win the FF Race in his Mygale as we continue to roast.

4:15-ish: Colin Turkington in his BMW. He's got rear wheel drive 'n' everything and he's quick, y'know. Very quick.

Tune in to ITV4 tomorrow and hear Plato and Neal telling you how unfair it all is.

5:30-ish: We watched the Porsche race from the Woodcote Grandstand but, if we are being honest, it was one of the most boring car races we have ever watched, so we are not going to mention it here, obviously. No, definitely not.

So we finish the day with a quick look at the F Renault race at Luffield, just the first couple of laps, before driving off down the A43 for our annual catch-up with Sue and Billy at The Green Man.

6:30-ish: Vicky, Sue and Billy looking at digital images on a gadget. Said gadget hidden behind several glasses. But it's there (oh yes).

7:15-ish: there's nowt like finishing off a good meal with a cuppa ice cream.

Shame this fella forgot about his sensitive tooth (caused by too much chocolate lately).

That'll learn 'im.

2 iffy photos, Tuesday, 16th September, 2014.

 A lovely constitutional today with two of nature's most colourful, yet hard to spot, things along the way.

Firstly, this bright green grasshopper on the path (which made it easy to spot)…...

….and, secondly, a kingfisher flew along the river towards me before alighting on a branch to feed on unsuspecting sticklebacks below.

I know these are iffy shots but we shouldn't fail to record these things just because of that.

We have lived here now for just about 9 years and I take this constitutional about 5 days a week on average (you do the math) and yet this is only the sixth time I have seen one in all that time (two of those sightings were on consecutive days - just to emphasis their rarity).

That bright turquoise flash just below centre and to the right of the shot is on a branch about 6' above the river and is the bird in question. I'm sat about 30 metres away on the opposite bank with the compact digi-gadget at full zoom. Just to give you a sense of scale.

The kingfisher dived in a couple of times, returned to its vantage point, and bashed its victims on the branch before swallowing 'em whole (as you do). It eventually flew off to the left and I departed for home in a wonderful mood.

Emlyn's Misano Report, Sunday, 14th September, 2014.

My pre-race warm up session went well this morning. I had two breakfasts of Sainsbury's Chicken chunks in jelly in the hostility suite, the first at 8am and the second at 9, and now the Moto3 race is on I've fallen fast asleep. Weird. 

Not to worry, it's excellent preparation for joining my servants for their breakfast at the hostility suite in the break between races.

As soon as Moto3 finishes it's off to the hostility suite for some more top class dining. Trouble is, it is not quite ready yet and the chef is in a bit of a panic. I've been instructed to keep from under her feet so I've decided to strategically place myself on the periphery so as to be ready.

I can sense things are about to be placed on the table. Poached eggs on toast, so I'm told. I'll need to eat fast 'cos Moto2 will be starting in a few minutes. Luckily, I'm good at that.

That egg and toast was lovely. Just the job.

Not sure I can stay awake thru' the Moto2 race….nope, I've gone.

I'm not too happy that Mika Kallio didn't win but, hey-ho, I had another splendid meal in the Hostility Suite at 12:45 by way of consolation (that chef is a very accommodating person) and now the MotoGP race is on I simply can't keep me eyes open. Funny that.

Ah well, it'll all be over soon and then it'll be off back to the hostility suite for another splendid repast at 5 (followed by another one at 7).

Yep, all-in-all, a most enjoyable meeting. Roll on Aragon in a fortnight.

Tour Of Britain, Worcester, Wednesday, 11th September, 2014.

Off out are you? On a Wednesday morning whilst Vicky is out at work and when you should be doing the housework? Disgraceful.

Make sure you close the door on the way out.

It's 10:00am and the BMC Team Coach is the last to arrive. 

According to the programme this team is American.

We'll leave the 'jokes' about American punctuality to the generation who fought in 17 World Wars.

Such un-PC references have no place on a blog such as this. Oh no.

This fella is a proper cyclist. Not like one of those blokes wot huffed and puffed his way up the A444 to Twycross in a vain attempt to stay fit back in the day.

I'm not sure of his name but he is well known to the spectators wishing him luck. 

It could be Kristian House but then again it might not be. He's in the Rapha Condor JLT Team, of that much we can be sure.

Madison Genesis Team riders warm up.

Note Tom Stewart (no 91) demonstrating how to update yer Facebook page at the same time. An essential skill for any modern sportsperson.

Sam Harrison, of the NFTO Pro Cycling Team, keeps hydrated.

Nice shaved legs, by the way. Now I see where I was going wrong. 

That, and the lack of a figure hugging T.

Yet more updating of Facebook pages going on.

Dale Appleby is the culprit this time, but they are all guilty bang to rights.

Madison Genesis Team warms up.

Disgraceful lack of social media updating going on here.

Yer civic dignitaries - looking suitable bored and bamboozled in equal measure.

The signing on is held in the shadows of The Hive.

Except there are no shadows 'cos it is so sunny once again as our lovely summer continues.

Australian journos frantically searching for a non-weather British news item, happily, out of shot.

Team Sky with Sir Bradley Of Wiggins on the left.

You'll have to take my word for it but the fella in the cycling helmet is Mark Cavendish. I'm 6' tall and I'm holding the camera high above my head and keeping my fingers crossed to get this shot, such is the crowd clamouring to see him.

The last time a stage of The Tour started in Worcester (2007) he was just a name in the programme, now he is a household name (as is Sir Bradley) and needs police and security to get him from the team coach to the start.

The programme cost £2.99 in 2007, by the way. It cost a fiver now. Hey-ho.

Team Sky supremo-fella, Sir Dave Of Brailsford.

A man who has had to manage the aspirations of both Sir Bradley and Chris Froome.

The jury is still out on that one in my opinion (oooh harsh). 

Scott Thwaites had better get a move on if he wants to make the start on time.

Down at the start and the riders await the signal to depart.

The crowd is four deep here and I'm holding the camera above my head and hoping.

I would say that the number of folk here is double that of 2007. 

Amazing what a bit of success in Le Tour and The Olympics can do, eh?

At 10:45 prompt the riders are away and it's next stop Bristol.

Sir Bradley Of Wiggins is the fella in the Team Sky gear.

OK, that's it, I'm off back home now.

I've got a cat to feed, some soup and mackerel pate sammidges to make and consume, and then some housework to do and all before Vicky gets home to make an inspection.

It's a cowin' tough life.

Worcester, Sunday, 7th September, 2014.

The hedge at The Barbourne Works is a disgrace.

Vicky can feel a strongly worded eMail coming on.

Always good to calm down with a walk along the river.

Note all the leaves on the ground. They are not so much autumn leaves as leaves that have simply given up the ghost as a consequence of our dry summer.

British MotoGP, Silverstone, Saturday, 30th August, 2014.

It's just before 11 o'clock, we're on our way to Brooklands corner, Scott Redding apparel is flying off the racks like…..um…..Scott Redding apparel, and Moto2 Practice is about to start.

For us, this is a late arrival but we hope to stay a bit later into the evening to watch James Toseland and his band on stage. Given we have his CD it should be good but there's an 'elephant in the room': do we have the stamina? It could go either way.

Just gone 11 o'clock and Dakota Mamola (standing in for the injured Jordi Torres, we think) rides past in the style of his Dad on the Mapfre Aspar Suter Moto2.

We haven't had anything to drink since we left home at 9:15am. Time for a break. Gotta pace ourselves and keep our fluids up if we are going to stay late, eh?

11:35am and we're still loitering with intent at Luffield en route to that desperately needed drink 'cos David is refusing to be dragged away from the track when 'bikes are going 'round. He'll faint in a minute, you'll see.

This is Jeremy McWilliams (50 years young lest we forget) on the Brough Superior Racing Moto2. Our hats go off to him. 

You can bet he's made sure he's had plenty of hydration an' all, unlike some.

11:55 and with the National Superstock's on track Vicky is finally able to persuade David to stop and sit down and have a drink of tea. Most welcome.
Ironically, the drinks emporium on the right had already run out of tea which is why we have had to resort to the cowin' burger joint.

12:15-ish and we've walked through the hordes of fans milling around the outlets selling Scott Redding apparel behind the Woodcote Grandstands to the Start/Finish line in time to see the very last few minutes of the Superstock Qualifying for their race later (much later) in the day.

This is Michael Robertson on his Kawasaki 1000.

12:30-ish and we're en route to Copse Corner but there are hordes of cowin' people everywhere slowing us down. Don't they know we have a strict timetable to follow? Look, there's another one of 'em standing about taking photos of stuff. Gerroutavit!

We conclude that this is the biggest Saturday MotoGP crowd we have seen for years. 

It's all Scott Redding and Bradley Smith's fault.

12:40-ish. Ah, the joys of Moto3 Qualifying.

Always frantic and entertaining whether we are on the outside of the entry to Copse or………

…. on the outside of the exit to Copse.

Two riders with their elbows out, one cruising, and another not looking where he is going. 

Yep, par for the course, then.

1:20-ish. Moto3's antics have ceased and there's a welcome break in the timetable before the MotoGP 'bikes take to the track.
Vicky is pleased to stop at Aintree for another welcome cup of tea and a Waitrose Pain au Raison. Very civilised but at 1:30, on the dot, David is off to the top of Wellington Straight 'cos the MotoGP 'bikes are on track bang-on-time. 

Damn the Timetable, says Vic, I'm staying put and so should you, you've got half a cuppa tea left!

1:35-ish and Jorge Lorenzo attacks the Wellington Straight on his Movistar Yamaha.

Hmm, thinks David, I'm feeling lightheaded. Perhaps I'd better return to Victoria and finish me tea?

2:00pm-ish and David is suffering the effects of dehydration and the effort of trying to pan a heavy SLR at the same speed as the finest motorcycle riders in the world.

Of course, like a lot of folk, he'd do well to remember that images posted on the internet stay on the internet forever.

2:15-ish and we've walked over to the other side of The Wellington Straight to find that upstart Mark Marquez-fella barely trying as he shifts through the gears on the Repsol Honda. 

He makes it all look so easy. You can go off some people y'know.

2:25-ish and Karel Abraham checks we're ready to take a photo of him doing a practice start on his Cardion AB Motoracing Honda.

Yep, goferrit, Karel-mate.

2:40-ish and Vicky would kill David if this blog didn't include a shot of Dani Pedrosa. 

Look how he gets the Repsol Honda a little bit crossed up, even on the straight. 

Steve Parrish mentioning on the TV for the zillionth time that Dani he has an unfair advantage 'cos he's only a little-fella (as if all other riders are huge-fellas) now a thing of the past, thankfully.

2:50-ish. It's the end of MotoGP Qualifying and Pol Espargaro comes to a halt on his Monster Tech 3 Yamaha prior to doing a practice start whilst Valentino Rossi on his Movistar Yamaha doesn't.

No idea who's finished up on Pole but we can guess.

Scott Redding does a practice start on his Go&Fun Gresini Honda.

2:55-ish. Damn my weak bladder, Vic. 

I'm not queuing up, I'll come back later after we've got another cuppa tea.

3:10-ish and we're in the open grandstand at Village for the Moto2 Qualifying. 

Nice to have a sit down at last.

3:30-ish. Moto2 riders file through Village.

Very polite. Not like those young Moto3 ruffians.

4 o'clock-ish and it's time for another cuppa tea (over 4 quid for 2), followed by slightly too moist chicken noodles (£15) whilst we wait for the Red Bull Rookies to take to the track. 

4:25-ish and we're back at Brooklands and the Red Bull Rookies Race is about to start on the half-hour.

The level of competition is always intense. This is only the Sighting Lap!

Hold on, something is going on on the Arena Stage. Let's go and investigate.

4:45-ish.

From left to right: Toby Moody, Bradley Smith, Pol Espargaro, and Julian Ryder.

Two of these people are the funniest stand-up comedy duo in MotoGo and it's not Moody and Ryder.

4:55-ish and Bradley Smith comes over to the front and our side of the stage to sign stuff.

Move back a touch Bradders. Yer too close.

4:58-ish.

Pol Espargaro signs stuff.

5:10-ish.

By way of a contrast, Aleix Espargaro signs stuff and poses for selfies. It's all in a day's work.

5:20-ish.

Short-term MotoGP rider, Leon Camier, enjoys the well-deserved spotlight.

Somebody give him a full-time ride please.

5:25-ish.

Riders are coming to the stage thick and fast (no pun intended).

This is Drive Aspar MotoGP rider Hiroshi Aoyama.

5:35-ish.

Karel Abraham.

5:45-ish.

Stefan (we remember yer Dad) Bradl.

He's a bit battered and bruised. It would help if yer stopped crashing, we don't tell him.

5:55-ish.

Mark Marquez takes to the stage and the crowd goes wild wild wild.
Fans of Clutch will see what we did there.

6:05-ish.

Young fella-me-laddo Marquez. 

He got a cheer almost as loud as that for Scott Redding (who hasn't come over to our side of the stage yet. Ah well. Can't win 'em all).

6:10-ish.

Scott and his team mate Alvaro Bautista are still here and they're coming this way! 

People are on the verge of fainting. Seriously. But not us. 

We like him, 'cos we do. But come on people, gerra grip.

6:15-ish.

Jorge Lorenzo is about to come on stage but we are knackered and decide it's time to go home. 

Sorry Jorge, and sorry James Toseland and his band.

I mean, c'mon we're not as young as we were. 

It's time to head back to the car, and the cool box containing our sammidges and cartons of orange juice, but not before David insists on taking one more action shot at Brooklands.

This is Leon Jeacock on his Superstock Kawasaki 1000.

6:20-ish.

Colin Edwards has announced his retirement but is rumoured to be amongst us. We didn't spot him but we do spot some of his fans.

So, one last pid and then it's off to the car for our tea and then the drive back home.

We get back home before 8 after another brilliant day out at Silverstone. 

If MotoGP ends up Donington next year it will be a travesty. We wont be there.

DORNA, we have spoken.